My why

For years, I thought I knew who I was, what I wanted, and where I wanted to be. At the age of 16, I knew where I wanted to go to school, when I was going to get married, and what age I was going to start having kids. I had a mission, a plan, some goals and no one was going to change that. That’s until my mission, plans, and goals began to dissolve. The years passed by and everything that I was supposed to be checking off the list was happening but wasn’t making me happy. Unbeknownst to me, I was moving through life like a tornado. I was spiraling.

Growing up, we were raised to believe that being unhappy with a job was okay because you were still getting paid. You were still working towards the “American Dream” that everyone told you you needed. For 6 years I was unhappy. I was struggling mentally. There were so many days I woke up wishing I could reset life, start over, or simply just end it. I felt like a failure. I didn’t feel normal. Many days, I often found myself crying to GOD asking him why I couldn't be like everyone else. Why couldn't I be normal? I was beating myself up to the point where I was beginning to hate myself.

When the pandemic happened, I wish I could say that my healing journey began there. That I took advantage of the lockdown and took time to figure out who I was. Unfortunately the opposite happened. I continued to move through life thinking I was okay, things were okay. I thought that all of the trauma I experienced made me stronger, tougher, and wiser. I was moving in denial about how happy I truly was. I was walking around with masks on. Or at least I was trying to.

Before the pandemic, I was adamant on leaving teaching. I was really unhappy and was moving through life on autopilot. No matter how stuck I felt, I was going to leave the education world. That’s until the world flipped upside down and things started to shift. I became the same scared girl I was whenever it came down to truly choosing myself and I stayed where I was. That lasted a year.

2021 I officially chose to stop living in fear and to honor myself by choosing myself. I didn’t know that making this decision would change EVERYTHING and eventually show me that who I was portraying wasn’t really me.

Choosing to create Healing with Bri wasn’t an easy choice and to this day I still question my decision. But one thing that I keep hearing my inner voice – my inner child say is, “you gotta do this, if not for the world, for yourself”. For years I have swallowed my shit and pushed through. For years, I have chosen those I loved over myself and wondered why my life is the way it is. For years, I have strived to become a woman I really didn’t want to become.

With this blog, my mission is to not only figure out who I truly am but to also speak my truth and let those that have felt like I have not feel alone. Healing with Bri is a peek inside my world. A world that I had pushed aside and hid for so long. Healing with Bri is me reintroducing myself to me and the world.

I hope that you take what you need from this blog and give what you can. Share your stories, speak your truth, and come here knowing that who you are is worthy of the love you seek and deserve.

A question to ponder: How are you showing up for yourself?